Jun 282016
 

I was diagnosed with inclusion body myositis 20 years ago. Throughout this blog I have recorded the various stages of weakness and disability that I have experienced. I have always wondered how the story would end. Now I know. I hope this will help others suffering from my condition.

The past few months I have noticed the effects of my weakness to a much greater extent. Especially with respect to being able to hold myself upright when sitting, the ability to breathe, and most importantly, the ability to swallow. People have suggested a feeding tube however that would have meant moving to a different type of facility and a much lower quality of life. Therefore I decided that would be something I would never do.

Two weeks ago I woke up with pain in my left side that greatly restricted my ability to take a deep breath. I also seemed more congested than usual and attributed it to a cold. However after a week the cold had not gone away and I was spiking high temperatures at night. Eventually I decided I had to go to the urgent care.

At urgent care they took a chest x-ray and said I had aspiration pneumonia in three places in my lungs: upper right, upper left and lower left. I was immediately transported to the hospital where they began giving me their strongest antibiotics IV.

Their speech therapists evaluated my ability to swallow which was made much worse by the hospital bed that did not give me the lateral support I need in order to sit upright and swallow. So she said they would not be able to give me food or water. After two days the doctor came in and said I was not getting better and that I would never get better because they could not get nutrition into me. He suggested a feeding tube but added that even that might not be any difference. Of course I refused the feeding tube. He then told me my best option was to return to my assisted-living facility under hospice care. They would continue the antibiotics and I would be able to eat and have a chance to fight off the pneumonia. However he cautioned that under even the best of circumstances there was a good chance that this would be the end of my life. He was a very good doctor and went on to say that I had been fighting this inclusion body myositis for many years and that now it just might be time for me to stop.

I am back at Huntington Manor now and despite the antibiotics and being able to eat (although not wanting to) I am back to running high fevers at night which is a sure sign the pneumonia is continuing to worsen.

I am on hospice and they will keep me comfortable as I complete this journey. I have made many online friends over these years and I value those friendships deeply. I simply couldn’t leave without saying goodbye.